I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
