Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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