she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
