You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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