I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
