that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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