I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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