im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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