Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
