I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
