last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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