I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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