Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
