Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
