he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
