I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
