I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
