Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
