..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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