i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
They took my balls.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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