it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
