Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
