JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
