Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
