its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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