Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
