end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
