Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Be still, my beating vagina.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I didn't notice because vodka
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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