You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
only you would photoshop your dick
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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