So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
