There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
