She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Congratulations! We have a period
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