Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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