Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it's like heaven, but drunker
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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