I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
