I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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