dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
