well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
