is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
