We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize