At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
not ubering you a puppy
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
