Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize