I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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