I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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