She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
