Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
