So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
