Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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