I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
