btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
