Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
