I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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