Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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