I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
