Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
