You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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