dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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