so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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