Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
