im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize