If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
