hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
